Deep Thoughts

There is a little thought that has been sticking in my head lately. Why is it that moms are so critical of each other? Why are we not more forgiving and even more friendly? One would think that as comrades in this war called parenthood we would band together for support instead of tearing each other down and ignoring the needs of our fellow soldiers.

Parenthood is a wonderful and fulfilling job but it is also thankless, tiring, frustrating, confusing and at times lonely. I know my first year as a mom was filled with anxiety, fear and loneliness quite often. I am sure many other moms feel this way too. From everything I have read (and I read A LOT) and talking with lots of other moms, I have found this is common. We as moms need to band together and help those in need. We should not ostracize a mom because she doesn't parent like we do or looks different than us or has different opinions on breastfeeding or discipline. Regardless of our own personal philosophy on being a parent we are in this together and we should be there for each other.

It really doesn't take much effort to say "hello" to the mom at the park with a newborn. Or the one struggling to control her 3 crazy kids on the jungle gym. The playground is our common battlefield and its a great place to start coming together to create the friendships and alliances we need as parents. We have much to learn from each other and the playground or park is a great place to start. Another great place to meet moms is at church. There you can connect with young moms and more experienced moms. We have much to learn from the mom who has teenagers or grown children. And I am sure they are more than happy to share their experiences or give advice or insight.

What we don't need is the mom who is judgemental or who believes that everything you are doing is wrong. Their way is the best way. Or how about the mom who passively aggresively insinuates that you are not a good enough mom unless you do everything they think you should or raise your kid the way they did with comments like "Oh baby, are you cold? Do you need a hat?" or "Should you have a jacket on baby?" Well lady, if I thought she needed a hat or jacket I would have put one on her! So please keep your opinion to yourself unless I ask for it. Nothing can ruin a friendship faster than that type of a person. Take your baggage somewhere else lady. I don't need you getting all bent because my ideas on being a parent differ from yours!

We need to help each other. We need to be tolerant of how others choose to raise their kids and we need to understand that there are a million different ways to be a parent. If the kid seems happy and healthy then don't worry about differing parent styles or lifestyles and just say "Hi".

Breaktime

Have you ever noticed that on the days when you need a break the most your child just will not take a nap? Sofie was falling asleep in the car on the way home from Wal-mart but of course she no longer wants to sleep. I tried keeping her awake on the drive since we live on the 3rd floor with no elevator. I did not want to schlepp a kid and groceries up the 3 flights. She was so tired, then hit the bed and party time. About 30 minutes in to her fight she poops, so we change, get her back in bed and 30 minutes later she is crying for me to come in there and sit in her rocker while she lays in bed. Then 30 minutes later she asks me to go back out in the living room. What the.......? Does anyone know how to  translate what is going on with this kid?

I read an article recently in Parents magazine about the  mommy cocktail hour/playdate. It went in to great detail about how moms are now spending playdates drinking with their friends while the kids play. Well duh! People are just now figuring this out? They say that alchoholism is on the rise with moms. Not to make light of the situation but is anyone really surprised by this? Moms are under a tremendous amount of pressure these days to be do and have everything for everyone. Also with the majority of dads not engaged, it's no surprise that moms are drinking more to relieve the stress. I am by no means a teetotaler. I have my fair share of drinks now and then. Some times it is just my little treat for a day well done, or an end to a day full of stress. I just think we need to walk a mile in these mothers shoes before we pass judgment on whether or not they are allowed to have a drink or two with friends during "playtime".

On a brighter note, potty training is going great. Sofie uses the potty exclusively for peepee when we are at home and sometimes for poop. She still wears a pull up at night and during nap time though. We made a foray out to the store with underwear on today and she didn't have an accident so that tells me she is getting the hang of holding her pee and waiting to use the toilet. before too long I am sure she will be ready for full time underwear. She loves being a big girl.

Well time to head upstairs and iron some shirts for the hubby. Stupid economy doesn't allow the dry cleaner right now!

Adjustments

Well life in Florida is finally starting to feel normal. Sofie is making friends and so am I. We are involved in many activites that we didnt have in Mi. Sofie has a little cooking class, many playdates, she comes with me to MOPS and to my outdoor bootcamp and we have had 2 birthday party invites. I am glad we are getting her around other kids on a regular basis. She also really likes going to church. All the kids there are very sweet to her and she seems to really enjoy her time there.

Gainesville has a lot to offer families and we are taking advantage of that. We know that this is not a final stopping place but its a good place to be for now. If only we could just sell our house then all would be well in the Babcock world.

Sofie is doing great with her potty training. I am confident that she will be full time in the underwear in no time at all. We even have her finally pooping in the potty. For a long time she would not use the potty for the ole' number 2 but now she likes to do it and then let me know if it is a mommy turd, daddy turd or baby turd based on the size. She also seems to be extra proud of the size, shape, and contents of her poop. She will happily exclaim "LOOK AT THAT TURD!" Yes she is her fathers girl. We all know I would not be the one to call someone in the bathroom for that! Fun times I tell ya.

Raising kids provides new challenges and much laughter everyday. Sofie is learning new things and expanding her vocabulary very fast and some of the things she says and does just crack me up at times. Other times I want to hang that kid by her toes! But being a parent has really given me a greater understanding of God's love for me and how all encompassing it is. that is how I feel about Sofie and there is nothing I wouldn't do for her to keep her safe, happy and tp make sure she knows how much I love her. God does the same thing for us. Even though it is sometimes hard to believe or understand. Especially when we are going through a rough time and we feel God is not there. Faith is the assurance of what we hope for and the belief in what we cannot see. I need to keep telling myself that.

Fun Times

Halloween has come and gone. We had such a fun time. It seems that we celebrated all week long. The Tuesday before Halloween Sofie, my mom, Ken and I went to Disney World for Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween. Sofie was dressed as Cinderella and she looked so adorable. It was really hot that day so we didn't do her hair until later in the night when it cooled off. 90 degrees on Halloween. How weird is that for a little ole' Michigan girl. I remember having to wear either long underwear under my costume or a jacket over the top. Half the time it would rain or be about 30 degrees. Halloween is much more fun down in Florida.

We also got to have a wonderful dinner beforehand at The Crystal Palace in the Magic Kingdom. I highly recommend going there if you ever get the chance. The food is great and it's a character dining with Tigger, Pooh, Piglet and Eeyore. Sofie was in heaven! She is so adorable to watch with those characters.

One more fun experience we have had is that I enrolled Sofie in a kids cooking class called "Wee Can Cook". It is taught by a former teacher here in Gainesville and Sofie is in a group for 2 1/2 to 5 yr. olds. We had our first class yesterday and she really seemed to enjoy it. What a little cutie she was. She was the youngest and in my opinion she was the cutest, most polite and most patient out of all the kids. But of course I am biased. She made mini pumpkin cupcakes, and she even got to frost them herself. What a great kid I have!

On a final note, we had a recent health scare on my part. I was diagnosed with superficial melanoma in situ. Earliest stage it can be found fortuantely but the other bad thing is I have a basil cell carcinoma on my back. The doctor had to cut out a pretty sizable piece of skin from my leg to get all the cancer but we have been told that the margins are clear which means they got it all. Praise to God. Now in Nov. I will have the one on my back cut out as well. So my warning to anyone who reads this blog is to wear sunscreen and put it on your children diligently. Most skin damage is done in your childhood and teen years so it is very important to teach your kids the use sunblock and the best way is to lead by example. You can't reverse any damage already done but you CAN prevent any further damage and possibly minimize what you have already done by wearing sunblock.