Deep Thoughts

There is a little thought that has been sticking in my head lately. Why is it that moms are so critical of each other? Why are we not more forgiving and even more friendly? One would think that as comrades in this war called parenthood we would band together for support instead of tearing each other down and ignoring the needs of our fellow soldiers.

Parenthood is a wonderful and fulfilling job but it is also thankless, tiring, frustrating, confusing and at times lonely. I know my first year as a mom was filled with anxiety, fear and loneliness quite often. I am sure many other moms feel this way too. From everything I have read (and I read A LOT) and talking with lots of other moms, I have found this is common. We as moms need to band together and help those in need. We should not ostracize a mom because she doesn't parent like we do or looks different than us or has different opinions on breastfeeding or discipline. Regardless of our own personal philosophy on being a parent we are in this together and we should be there for each other.

It really doesn't take much effort to say "hello" to the mom at the park with a newborn. Or the one struggling to control her 3 crazy kids on the jungle gym. The playground is our common battlefield and its a great place to start coming together to create the friendships and alliances we need as parents. We have much to learn from each other and the playground or park is a great place to start. Another great place to meet moms is at church. There you can connect with young moms and more experienced moms. We have much to learn from the mom who has teenagers or grown children. And I am sure they are more than happy to share their experiences or give advice or insight.

What we don't need is the mom who is judgemental or who believes that everything you are doing is wrong. Their way is the best way. Or how about the mom who passively aggresively insinuates that you are not a good enough mom unless you do everything they think you should or raise your kid the way they did with comments like "Oh baby, are you cold? Do you need a hat?" or "Should you have a jacket on baby?" Well lady, if I thought she needed a hat or jacket I would have put one on her! So please keep your opinion to yourself unless I ask for it. Nothing can ruin a friendship faster than that type of a person. Take your baggage somewhere else lady. I don't need you getting all bent because my ideas on being a parent differ from yours!

We need to help each other. We need to be tolerant of how others choose to raise their kids and we need to understand that there are a million different ways to be a parent. If the kid seems happy and healthy then don't worry about differing parent styles or lifestyles and just say "Hi".